Fear in the Land of Alternative Education
Three AI-generated images of train tracks. From left to right: 1. Train tracks, surrounded by trees without leaves, on a foggy day. 2. Train tracks, surrounded by trees with green leaves, on a foggy day. 3. A blurry image of train tracks, surrounded by lush trees with green leaves, and a burst of sunlight in the distance.
Fear stops us in our tracks. Fear can also jolt us into action. It depends on your particular amalgam of stress response. We respond to the fear of danger, an evolutionary trait that keeps us going. Security specialist Gavin De Becker wrote about this in his popular book, The Gift of Fear. We act according to our fears, whether they are of failure or a fear of success. As social creatures, the vast majority of us experience the fear of not belonging, not connecting, known as shame according to researcher/storyteller, Brene Brown.
When it comes to learning and growing, fear can stunt and stymie. For those of us practicing alternative models of education and for those of us interested in making the shift from conventional to alternative, fear will present itself. For the learners, families, and educators alike, there is often an outside gaze that instigates fear.
A commonly observed challenge in alternative education is that we fear that we aren’t qualified to guide young people. Parents who are not certified teachers may fear future hypothetical opinions. What if it all goes wrong? Everything is ruined. We spiral, and our response to that internal conflict is either quick, non-existent, or for the sake of another. In other words, we fight, we freeze, we fawn, etc. So, depending on your stress response, you may experience decision-paralysis or you may jump into another solution, maybe back to conventional school.
Making split-second decisions is difficult enough, and then society is added to the mix? Puh! Fuhgeddaboudit. We do not exist in social vacuums. Everyone is watching, or at least it can certainly feel that way. We experience deep-seeded fears rooted in contrast to your perception of what’s normal, and then base our actions on that internalized fear.
What’s the antidote? Fear is not inherently bad. Like any emotion, it’s a signal. Emotional intelligence partially means being able to tune in to that emotion, listen to it, make meaning, and respond. So, when we can, we must pause. Take the time to sit with our fear and have a much needed conversation. Why are you here, fear? What do I need from you? Tease out its function, search for validity. In all likelihood, there’s some truth to find. By pausing, being curious, and demonstrating courage, you will better understand and own your insecurities, thereby conquering them, at least to some degree.
Pause to listen, use discernment, and move according to your clarified wisdom. Through this process, we can move away from fear-based decisions and toward confident choices. If unschooling, homeschooling, and other alternative forms of education are for you and your family, then trust the process and know that it won’t be easy. If it is aligned with your purpose and preferences, it is absolutely a worthwhile venture.
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Off Da Beaten Path Learning LLC offers 1-on-1 self-directed education guidance to learners, ages 5 and up. Choose your education. Create your success. Reach out today!
